Hold On Love
by Meredith01
Summary: Dealing with the 'morning after'.  MS
1. Chapter 1

Title: Hold On Love

Rating: PG-13

Spoilers: Pre 'At Rest' Season 5

Summary: My attempt at correcting the utter madness that is Season 6!

Pairings: I will never write anything other than M/S!

This is the first of 3 chapters...maybe 4 if I ramble!

* * *

She really hadn't wanted to be alone that night. When you're alone thoughts have a habit of creeping up on you and the opportunity for introspection becomes unavoidable. 

You start to think about all the mistakes you have made and continue to make, you come to realizations you discover you had made a long time ago.

You think about the regrets in your life, all the bad decisions you made and how it is now too late to rectify them and slowly but surely you realize that your life is an inescapable mess and that sometimes, it really is too late.

Samantha had no intention of mulling over her own tumultuous existence that night so a bar and a couple of drinks seemed like the perfect remedy to self reflection.

The bar was crowded that evening, every table was occupied by groups of colleagues out for an after-work 'pick me up' or couples too preoccupied in each other to notice the music overhead or the constant sea of chatter from the faceless bodies around them.

Sam didn't mind the noise, it drowned out her own persistent inner voice and the sea of anonymous bodies was oddly comforting. It made her feel less alone, seemed to make her solitude less obvious, or at least that was the idea. But sitting there surrounded by all those people, plunged into the hum of their conversations and the sound of joyful laughter, she had never felt more alone.

It had started out being a fairly good day in her books; the sun was shining, no new cases had been passed their way, it had been quiet and uneventful, even pleasant.

Over the past few months it had been easier to be around him, they had somehow found themselves friends once again, able to laugh and joke with each other, share quiet moments and find that level of comfort they had lost when their relationship had ended.

She found herself sitting at home at the end of each day, quietly reflecting on the day's events and discovering over and over again that the moments she remembered, the ones that brought a smile to her face, where moments she had spent with him.

His closeness, his smile, the warmth and tenderness she still found reflected in his blue eyes…everything about him reminded her constantly of the enormity of her mistake. It reminded her of just what she had so recklessly thrown away…it reminded her that she still loved him.

So once again she had made the first move, or endeavored to at least. In an act of either bravery or stupidity, she still wasn't sure which… she had asked him to go for a drink with her that evening.

_**Samantha skirted nervously around the side of Martin's desk and leant back tentatively on the edge her arms folded tightly across her chest in an all too defensive gesture.**_

"_**Hey Martin?"**_

"_**Yeah?" he picked his jacket up from the back of his chair and slowly pulled it on as he watched her fumble nervously with the button on her jacket and bite down thoughtfully on her bottom lip, "is everything ok?"**_

"_**Yeah," she nodded, standing up straight and running her hand haphazardly through her hair, "I was just wondering if maybe you wanted to get a drink or something?"**_

_**Martin exhaled slowly and practically winced as the words left her lips, "I…I uhm…"**_

"_**If you have plans, I understand, I just thought…" she backpedaled quickly, feeling her heart suddenly crushed in her chest.**_

"_**No, no," he shook his head, glancing toward the door and then back at her, clearly torn in his decision, "it's just, I have this thing…"**_

"_**Oh," Samantha nodded in understanding, "a date?"**_

_**Martin remained silent and merely held her gaze, allowing the seconds to tick by uncomfortably before he finally answered, "Yeah."**_

"_**Right," Sam licked her lips that had now become unbearably dry and glanced down at the floor. It would hurt too much to look at him right now, especially if she saw pity in his eyes. He had moved on, that was the end of it.**_

"_**Sam…wait…" Martin sighed as she walked briskly over to her desk and picked up her purse.**_

"_**Have a good night," she added, avoiding his gaze as she hurried out toward the elevators, praying the tears now pricking her eyes would remain unshed as she left the building.**_

_**If she had only looked back at him she would have seen that it wasn't pity etched across his face in that moment… it was regret.**_

xxxx

Sam took a long sip of her drink and placed the glass down heavily on the dark wood of the bar top, pinching the bridge of her nose between her fingers as she once again berated herself for approaching him.

"He's an idiot!"

"Excuse me?!" Sam looked up quizzically, finding herself staring up at the amused smirk of the bartender before her.

"The guy you're thinking about right now, he's a loser!" he smiled charmingly and leant on the bar, his blue eyes eagerly taking in every inch of her.

Samantha groaned inwardly, clearly this was an act he had patented and judging by his all too cocky smile, it was one he had found great success with.

"Who says I'm thinking about a guy?" she challenged, deciding to play along with his routine as she slid an olive from the cocktail stick and chewed on it distractedly.

The barman winced approvingly and smiled, "Mmm…another woman?" he pretended to ponder this momentarily and cocked an eyebrow, "I think I'm gonna take a second here and think about that too!"

Sam laughed and rolled her eyes. She knew exactly where this was headed, she'd been here many times before and with every sip of her drink it was becoming easier to ignore the warning voice in the back of her mind.

"So…you wanna tell me about it?" he asked, ignoring the irritated stare of his colleague who passed him briskly.

Samantha narrowed her eyes and smiled, "And why would I want to talk to you?"

The barman shrugged, "It goes with the job, listening to people's problems. You'd be surprised what people will tell you after a couple of these!" he picked up her empty glass pointedly.

"Does this usually work for you?" Sam dropped the cocktail stick into her glass and raised an eyebrow as he stared at her blankly.

"Does what work for me?"

"This…this whole I'm a great listener' act."

The bartender folded his arms across his chest and paused, "Why? It's not working for you?" he smiled comically and ran his hand through his hair.

"Not so much," Samantha shook her head, "sorry."

"Damn. You think I need new material?" he grinned, hoping to draw her in with a well practiced self-effacing smile.

Sam glanced slowly around the bar as she thought over her options. There were so many reasons why this was a bad idea, but the idea of going home to an empty apartment tonight was too much to bear.

He was handsome, fairly amusing she supposed and more importantly, he wanted her. He would be an easy distraction, she never had to see him again and she knew he had no intention of beginning anything deep and meaningful. It would just be casual, emotionless sex, nothing more.

She could handle that; no emotions, no feelings, she had been living like that all her life.

xxxx

From the doorway, a familiar pair of eyes took in the scene before them, watching as the bartender continued to stare at Samantha in a blatantly predatory gesture.

Martin jammed his hands in his pockets and sighed as he saw her flirting with the stranger before her. He thought things had changed, thought she had changed, yet as he saw her once again contemplating another irrevocably bad decision, he knew he had been wrong.

After her unexpected proposition that evening and after much soul searching, he had called to cancel his date.

If truth be told his heart had not been in it anyway and he had pondered many times that week if it was fair to even see this woman when he knew his heart still belonged unwillingly to another.

He could see no escape from Samantha; she consumed his every waking thought and invaded all his most vivid dreams. The memory of her would not be exorcised and despite trying to move on with his life, trying to overcome the constant longing and yearning he felt to have her in his arms once again, she was still there; Still haunting him, still pulling him to her with her dark eyes and gentle smile.

He hadn't wanted to let her go and after walking the streets for almost an hour thinking over his decision, he had found himself in the bar he knew she frequented. He didn't know what he'd say or do when he saw her, he had no great romantic speeches planned, he just knew he needed to be with her; all he knew was that he loved her.

Martin stepped aside to allow a couple to exit the bar, running his hand over his handsome face as he watched her once again give herself freely to yet another undeserving man.

He wanted to walk over to the bar and drag her outside, ask her why once again she was so seemingly adamant to make the worst possible choices for herself. She was worth so much more than this and he had hoped to one day make her realize her true worth. But the self destructive streak in Samantha was just too strong to fight and maybe it wasn't even his job to try anymore.

If this was what she wanted he wouldn't interfere, this was her decision to make and so with a heavy heart, he glanced at her once more before slowly turning and walking out of the door.

He was making a decision… he was finally letting her go.

xxxx

The bartender placed another Martini down in front of Samantha and kept his hand around the stem of the glass to prompt her to meet his gaze. His shift was ending soon and he had no intention of ending the evening alone.

"Look… I get off in half an hour, you wanna get out of here?" he smiled good naturedly as he watched her obviously thinking over his proposition.

Sam traced her fingertip around the edge of the glass and nodded slowly, her decision finally made, "Yeah, I do."

He grinned triumphantly and set the checkered towel back under the bar, choosing to ignore the flash of indecision across her face as she plastered a clearly fake smile on her pretty face.

"Samantha…" she stated, having no intention of going beyond divulging her first name.

The barman smiled and peered at her somewhat smugly, proud of his efforts that evening as he introduced himself to his latest conquest.

"Brian."


	2. Chapter 2

Martin walked slowly along the sidewalk without any real purpose or direction, his eyes lowered to the uneven concrete squares beneath his feet as he continued to wander through the busy Friday night crowds that had now started to tumble out of the bars around him.

He watched the couples around him laughing as they ran hand in hand through the rain shower and lowered his gaze once more.

The more he tried not to focus his thoughts on Samantha the more prevalent she became in his mind and he felt his jaw clench in anger as he thought about her actions that night.

He had turned her down and so she would take the first man she found back to her bed in typical 'Samantha' fashion, retreating behind that carefully constructed wall that succeeded in keeping even the most constant heart at bay.

Had that been her intention for him that night? To be the warm body that kept her company until the morning came and she no longer needed that comfort or reassurance.

Unlike most women he had dated Samantha had no problem separating sex from love or affection. She saw it as a purely physical act, a way of relieving stress and reaffirming her own warped view of self worth.

He knew that her randomly selected 'friend' would be gone before the morning light; Samantha hated to keep her mistakes around for long, he himself was proof enough of that.

Yet even though he knew that to her it would be nothing but one meaningless night, the idea of another man holding her or kissing her or touching her, made him sick to the stomach.

He knew that she was no longer his to hold, yet his heart told him otherwise and the images now plaguing his mind made his chest ache in misery.

Martin reached up and loosened the knot in his tie, pulling the constricting garment away from his neck before jamming his hands in his pockets dejectedly.

The doors of the neighborhood bars were now spewing forth a continuous stream of pleasantly inebriated patrons and so not wanting to have to maneuver through the crowds, he took a seat on the low stone wall behind him.

Martin glanced up at the strangely familiar frontage of the bar opposite and released a weary sigh as he realized he had been walking in circles; strangely ironic given the events of the evening.

He had no idea how he found himself in this position once again; he had vowed to himself a long time ago that his feelings for Sam would have to go ignored, it was just too difficult and emotionally draining to try and pick through the minefield of issues and complications that a relationship with Samantha entailed.

And yet despite all his misgivings, despite all the heartache he had experienced the first time around, his feelings had never died. Being around each other again, being friends, finding that comfort and intimacy that they had once shared had reminded him just how much he missed her.

The guy in the bar would never know her; he would never know the woman he would hold in his arms that night.

To him, she was merely another nameless face, a distraction to pass the time; to Martin, she was everything.

But he didn't have the strength to deal with her problems and no matter how much he wanted to be the one to change her views on relationships and love, he had to resign himself to the fact that Samantha didn't want to change.

He stood up from the wall and stepped toward the curb, holding out his hand to try and hail a passing cab that would take him back home where he would undoubtedly spend the night torturing himself with images of Sam and this other guy.

Eventually a cab stopped, yet as he opened the door he felt his gaze pulled toward the sidewalk opposite.

There was Samantha, quite clearly the worse for wear after a few drinks and there beside her of course was the barman he had seen her flirting with earlier.

The cab driver turned to face his hesitant customer, tapping impatiently on the window of the passenger side, "Hey buddy, make up your mind!"

Martin watched her stumble slightly as she stood waiting for a cab, the arm of the random guy firmly around her waist as he repeatedly tried to draw her closer and kiss her neck.

"That your girl?" the cab driver followed his gaze across the street, watching the tension on Martin's face as he stared across at the blonde.

Martin sighed and ran his hand through his hair as he watched them, knowing if he intervened she would be mad at him, yet if he didn't he would never forgive himself.

"So… what're you doin' pal?" the driver asked, impatient to move on and find another fare.

"Damn you Samantha," he muttered angrily, knowing there was only one thing he could do.

Martin held up his hand apologetically and closed the door with a slam, waiting for the taxi cab to drive off before he tried to negotiate his way through the traffic and across the street.

Once again he found himself walking back to her.

xxxx

Samantha opened her eyes slowly, wincing as she felt her head throbbing angrily in response to the numerous martinis and tequila shots she had ingested the previous evening.

A wave of nausea washed over her as she licked her dry lips and tried to piece together the events of the evening. The dip of the bed behind her suddenly provoked vivid flashbacks of the night and the nausea in her stomach soon gave way to dread as she felt his body lying beside her.

She winced as she heard him stirring from sleep, silently berating herself once again for yet another horrendously bad decision. The events of the evening where vague; she recalled the bar, her head certainly recalled the alcohol and slowly her involvement with the barman came creeping back along with vague images of Martin that her hazy mind had yet to process.

Pressing her hand to her aching forehead she tried to find the courage to turn and face her latest mistake.

"Hey."

His sleepy greeting forced her to finally roll over and she eventually found the courage to look up at him, finding a pair of unrelenting blue eyes affixed on her face.

Samantha stared at him in confusion and let her head fall back against the pillow.

She had always hated the morning after.


	3. Chapter 3

Samantha rubbed her hand over her face and closed her eyes tightly, trying to decipher the vague images currently floating through her mind as she attempted to figure out exactly how she had come to wind up in bed with her current companion.

Of all the mistakes she could have made, this was undoubtedly the worst.

"Martin?"

"How are you feeling?" he stifled a yawn and surveyed her analytically, sighing as he saw she had yet to open her eyes or remove her palms from her face.

"What happened last night?" she gingerly removed her hands from her eyes and blinked against the harsh morning sunshine, finally settling her tired eyes on his.

"You don't remember?" he asked, sitting up and rubbing the back of his neck as he looked down at her dubiously.

"Not really," she shook her head, ashamed to admit that she could've woken up beside anybody that morning and had no real recollection of how she got there.

Sam sat up slowly and placed her hand to her temple as the room spun unsteadily around her, edging up the bed and sitting back against the headboard, noting that she was still fully clothed in her shirt and trousers, "We didn't…" she widened her eyes pointedly, looking away as she saw a hint of anger flash across his features.

"Of course not," he shook his head, disappointed she would even think he'd have taken advantage of her in that state, although it spoke volumes about the type of guy she apparently associated with.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean that you'd… I'm sorry," she cast her gaze slowly around the room, settling on the chair where her jacket and purse had been placed along with his tie and jacket, their shoes lined up beside each other on the floor beneath it. She knew he must've put her to bed the night before but she had no recollection of it or even how or when he had shown up.

Martin sighed and moved to sit on the edge of the bed, running his hands through his hair as he leant his elbows on his thighs and bowed his head, listening as she cleared her throat nervously.

"What happened last night? I remember the bar…and…" she smiled wryly and rubbed her throbbing head, "I know there was tequila…and the guy at the bar, I…" she closed her eyes and winced as she recalled how she had been willing to go home with a man she now could not even remember by name.

Martin shook his head and looked at her in bewilderment, "You don't even remember the guy's name?"

Sam glanced up quickly as she heard the stark criticism and judgment in his tone, "Don't you dare judge me Martin," she said bitterly, now remembering why she had gone alone to the bar in the first place.

"Why? Why do you do this to yourself Sam?" he asked pleadingly, walking around the bed and sitting down in front of her as if to force a response.

Samantha shrugged and stared down idly at the throw beneath her, tracing her fingertips over the fabric of her pants, "He wanted me."

"For the night," he said incredulously, not being able to believe somebody he thought was so amazing and beautiful could really have so little appreciation of her own self worth, "you're worth so much more than this Sam…"

He raised his hand slowly to her face and gently lifted her chin to look him in the eye. Sam quickly turned her gaze from his and stared down at the floor as she felt tears begin to prick her eyes. She felt vulnerable enough without having him see her cry.

"Please go," she said quietly, her breath catching as she felt a cascade of unshed tears begin to burn the back of her eyes and throat.

Martin brushed his thumb slowly down her cheek and then quickly rose from the bed, walking out into her bathroom as she merely stared at him in confusion.

He returned moments later with a glass of water and two small Aspirin in the palm of his hand, "Here, take these."

She dutifully took the pills and water, trying to ignore him as he watched her swallow down the pills and gratefully drank the glass of liquid, the cool water soothing her parched mouth, "Thanks."

Martin merely nodded and took the glass from her, placing it on the nightstand and then sitting back down beside her, staring down at his hands apparently lost in thought.

Samantha stared at him uncertainly, wondering why on Earth he persisted in being so good to her. He really was a good man, she had known that for a long time and she felt both ashamed and guilty for how she had treated him in the past.

He was too good for her and she knew that. He deserved to be happy with someone and even if that person wasn't her, she hoped he had finally found the women he would be able to share his life with. Even if the idea of Martin with any other woman was like a dagger to her heart, he had to move on; he needed to move on from her.

"Why didn't you tell me?" her voice was little more than a whisper.

Martin looked up at her and shook his head determinedly, "I don't know Sam."

Sam reached to her side and pulled the pillow onto her lap, idly fingering the edge of the cotton pillow case as she hugged it to her. It smelt just like him; that all too familiar, comforting, heartbreaking scent.

She smiled slightly as a tear tripped down her cheek, self consciously brushing it away before he saw, "So it's alright for you to move on, but not me? Is that it?" her tone was not accusing, just filled with sadness and regret.

Samantha frowned as Martin began to chuckle, she certainly found no humor in the situation.

Martin turned to face her and shook his head in disbelief, no trace of humor on his handsome face, "Moved on?" he repeated, blinking rapidly as he tried to process her accusation, "If I'd moved on I wouldn't have bothered coming after you last night. If I'd moved on Sam you'd be here lying next to that loser from the bar."

She blanched as he stood up and paced the floor irritably, rubbing his hand over the stubble on his jaw as he glared at her in astonishment.

"What's she like?" she knew she had no right to ask that question, yet she had to know who this woman was.

Martin shook his head, having no intention of discussing this other woman with Sam, "I don't want to do this."

"Please," Sam held his gaze and stared up at him until she saw the resolve crumble from his face, "I want to know."

Martin exhaled slowly and sat down on the edge of the bed once again. He hadn't wanted to tell Samantha about her before, there had seemed no point. He had only been on two dates with this woman and had been ready to break it off with her before Sam had spoken up the night before.

It wasn't fair to lead her on; he was still in love with his ex- and that was no way to begin a relationship with somebody new.

"She works for the DA's Office. From Long Island, she's smart… pretty," Martin sighed tiredly, "wants to get married someday…wants a family…"

In his mind or on paper at least, this woman was perfect for him and as he listed her many qualities he found the rational part of his brain angry at himself for dismissing her so easily.

Yet in his heart, there was only one woman he could ever imagine himself loving for the rest of his life.

Sam nodded, blinking as further tears tricked down her cheeks, "She sounds nice," she said hoarsely, "she's everything I'm not, huh?"

Martin looked up at her intently, wondering why she couldn't see just how much he loved her, why she insisted on thinking so little of herself when he would be quite prepared to give his life for her.

"That's the problem Sam," he purposefully held her gaze, trying desperately to convey how he felt, "she's not you."


	4. Chapter 4

Part IV

I thought I'd already posted this a while ago, but apparently I hadn't, sorry. This is the final chapter, unless I get around to an epilogue which is doubtful at this point. :)

* * *

Samantha stared at him in bewilderment, his words causing her heart to pound in her eardrums and her chest began to ache at the tenderness and adoration she saw in his eyes.

Taking a deep breath to try and calm her nerves, she said the only thing she could think of in that moment.

"I miss you."

Martin nodded, his words catching in his throat as he saw the vulnerability in her eyes, "I miss you too. But I don't know what to do anymore Sam." 

Samantha wiped her tears from her cheek with the back of her hand, surprised when she felt Martin grasp her other hand in his and squeeze it tightly. 

He removed the pillow gently from her lap and pulled her gradually closer toward him, their eyes remaining locked intently on the other.

"It's too late isn't it?" she asked quietly, looking down and watching as he grasped both her hands in his.

"I don't know," he answered honestly; there was so much he stood to lose if things ended badly between them once again.

Yet if they didn't even try, he would always live with that regret and there was nothing he wanted more than to spend his life with Samantha, no matter the issues they might have to overcome.

Martin stared down at their joined hands, torn between wanting to follow his heart and give their relationship another chance or grasp any chance he had for self preservation and break both their hearts again. 

He slowly raised his gaze to her face, knowing there wasn't a doubt in his mind as to what he wanted to do, but before he could speak, she slipped her hand from his and placed her fingers gently against his lips. 

Sam took a deep breath and tried to compose herself, taking his pensive silence as rejection.

"I did love you Martin. I know it didn't seem that way sometimes," she blinked as tear drops clung to her lower lashes and she lowered her gaze once more, "but I do…"

Martin smiled as he caught the error in her words, 'I do' instead of 'I did', but Samantha carried on oblivious to her mistake.

"I was scared and that's not an excuse… I know I was wrong to push you away, but…it's the truth."

"Shhh, Sam," he began softly, reaching up and brushing her hair behind her ear, hoping to interrupt her tirade.

"So…we'll just be friends," she swallowed hard, managing to look him in the eye as she added, "_good_ friends…"

Martin watched as tears began to stream down her cheeks, hating that he was the cause of her pain but also strangely relieved to see some humanity and vulnerability finally appear in her. Her defenses seemed to be down, she was finally reaching out to him and he knew he could never reject her.

"No," he shook his head firmly, letting his fingertips linger across her cheekbone, "I could never just be your friend Sam. I'm still in love with you…"

"You are?" her voice was fragile and childlike and all he wanted to do was take her in his arms.

He blinked back the tears he felt pricking at his eyes and held her hand tightly against his chest, "I never stopped loving you."

Sam paused and stared at him with wide eyes, sniffing back further tears as she swiped self consciously at the tears on her cheeks. 

"You couldn't have told me that before?? Before I started…rambling?" a small smile appeared on her face as she grasped his hand tightly in her own.

"You didn't give me a chance to!" he replied, not quite the reaction from her he had been expecting, but then with Samantha you learnt to anticipate the unexpected. 

She looked up at him uncertainly and skirted a little closer, watching his eyes carefully for approval as she moved toward him and tried to gauge if he was comfortable with having her that close.

Martin caught her gaze and smiled reassuringly, gently easing her against his side and wrapping his arm around her shoulder. Sam leant her head against him and closed her eyes momentarily, finally giving in to surrender and allowing herself to hope for the first time that the future she had been afraid to admit to wanting was now within reach.Her fingertips swirled intricate patterns on his chest as she pressed her face into the crook of his neck, her stomach fluttering madly at the warmth of his skin and that wonderful scent. 

"I promise I'll try harder this time," she vowed, his hands swirling gentle circles across her back in a soothing gesture.

"Just let me love you Sam… that's all I ever wanted from you."

Samantha nodded, finding herself once again fighting back tears, "What about…" she began, referring to his date from the previous evening.

"I told her I couldn't see her anymore," he replied honestly, "it wouldn't have been fair to lead her on, you're the only one I want."

Sam reached up with a shaking hand and pressed her palm gently to his cheek, smiling softly as he closed his eyes and leant into her touch, his lips brushing a kiss to her palm."I still have fears Martin… my issues aren't going to go away over night," she needed to know he wanted all of her, that he would give her the time she needed. 

"I'm sorry I wasn't there for you last time Sam. I want to help you, I want to be there for you. I know this isn't going to be easy, but I want to work through it with you. I just need to know you want that too."

"I do," she nodded, closing her eyes and inhaling slowly as she asked fearfully, "but what if I'm not worth the effort?" 

Martin stared at her, finding himself stunned to silence that she could think that of herself.  
He had no idea what others had said or done to this amazing woman to make her apparently think so little of herself, but if it took the rest of his life he would make sure she knew just how much she meant to him.

He knew her past was filled with unspoken tragedy and heartache, things she still refused to voice to anybody. She didn't believe in the concept of 'happily ever after', because in her experience, things had a nasty habit of crumbling down around her.  
He vowed her future would be different. Samantha flinched slightly as he lifted her chin to meet his gaze, leaning in toward his gentle touch as he brushed his lips against her cheek and caressed her damp skin.

"I don't ever want to hear you talk about yourself like that again Sam. One day I hope you'll realize just how amazing you are…and how much I love you."

Sam took a deep breath against the anxiety she felt building up within her and tried to summon the courage to say the words currently trapped on the tip of her tongue. 

Martin saw her trepidation and tried to allay her fears, "Its ok… you don't need to say anything Sam."

She nodded in defeat, once again letting her fears control her. But then anger inexplicably bubbled up within her at her own inability to express how she truly felt and so after a few moments of quiet introspection, she suddenly leant up and finally said those three words she had held back for so long. 

The brilliant smile she saw illuminate his face was more than worth those few moments of abject terror and within moments he had pulled her gently toward him and brushed his lips against her in a tentative kiss. 

Sam pressed herself further into his arms, their soft explorative kiss slowly deepening to become something much more intense and powerful. They clung to each other fiercely, eagerly drinking in the taste of each other until the need for air began to burn their lungs and they were finally forced apart. Martin nuzzled her cheek affectionately and pressed his lips to her once again in a succession of kisses, smiling sympathetically as she slid her hand from his neck and pressed it to her aching head. 

"Maybe you should lie down for a while," he suggested, brushing his lips in a feather light kiss across her forehead.

"Yeah," Sam nodded, easing herself out of his arms and crawling across the bed to lie back against the pillows, "will you stay with me?"

Martin reached out to take the hand she offered him and moved to lie behind her, wrapping his arms around her as if afraid to let her go. 

Sam sighed contentedly, barely able to believe the events of the last few hours, yet she still had a few remaining questions she was sure Martin would be able to answer,"Martin?"

"Hmm?" he replied, smiling as he felt her hair tickle his nostrils. 

"How did you get me home last night? I mean, what did you say?" she asked curiously, wondering how he had managed to change her mind.

"You don't remember?"

"No," she smiled wryly, "things are a little…fuzzy right now."

Martin remained momentarily silent, feeling a little self conscious as he remembered what he had said to her outside the bar. It had been the only thing he could think of to say and before his brain had had a chance to process his words, he'd suddenly found himself blurting out the first thing that came to mind.Not that it mattered; it had been the truth anyway. 

"I said… '_I love you, please don't do this._'"

Samantha appeared to think this over for a moment before she pulled his arms tighter around herself, "What did I say?" 

Martin smiled and cocked an eyebrow, "You er… you looked at me, you looked at him and then you said, '_I think I'm gonna throw up'_."

Sam groaned in embarrassment and hid her face in the pillow, "Oh my God, Martin!"

He chuckled and dropped a kiss on the top of her head, "Well, it got rid of _Brian_."

Sam smiled at the caustic tone to his voice as he mentioned the bartender's name.

"So I brought you home and put you to bed. You asked me to stay with you, so I did."

She rolled her eyes and turned to face him, genuinely ashamed of her actions the night before, "Thank you."

"That guy didn't deserve you Sam. Guys like that…they're…" he struggled to find words, "I couldn't let you do it, no matter how mad you were at me." 

Sam sighed and shook her head, "I was mad at myself. I thought I'd really lost you… and it was all my fault, I just…I just wanted to forget." 

Martin pressed his cheek to her head as she lay back in his arms, curving her body to fit into his, finding so much comfort and reassurance in his embrace. 

"Martin… we can make this work this time, right?" she held on to him tighter, knowing if she lost him again it would irrevocably break her heart.

"If we really want to," he nodded, his breath hot on her cheek as he stared down at her intently. 

Sam thought about this momentarily and then looked up into his blue eyes, relieved to see the same hope in his eyes that she felt in her heart, "I really do."

Bringing his hand up to her cheek he brushed away the tracks of her tears and nodded resolutely, "Then we will."


End file.
